Week 1

Prototype/ Situate/ Fabricate

• I’m kinda glad that the first project is team-based because that means I get to meet new people.
• Given task is quite interesting as well, creating a solution for a problem that arises in our living environment, can be political/ societal as well.
• Solution ties in with fabrics, an unfamiliar but exciting medium to work with
• only thing is that my teammates are probably not as excited as I am about it.

Lucy Orta Reading

• about site-specific works, or works that are ‘solutions’ to real-world problems
• I like the idea of an artist as problem solvers… although the realist in me, knows we aren’t really providing a feasible solution but highlighting the issue such that it brings to societal attention
• Through attempting to solve a societal issue in an artwork, it makes known the problem to the rest
• The ‘solution’ may appear to be a joke which may end up amplifying the issue or be satirical and act as commentary on the issue
• I think this is a very interesting perspective on art as problem solvers.

Art Matters

• students are generally quite uninterested with a few that are
  the topic of the semester is bodies and sexuality
• how the body is used in art and representing sexuality, these are topics that I am very unfamiliar with and it also made me realized how little I have considered my body as a tool to say something, although I might have already been using it?
• Although I can tell that she is suppressing her control freak aspect of her, I like how she explained the grades to us… about how A+ is not just about a well-written piece but how much you have grown since the first day
• She said she is going for growth instead
• she throws in a few eye twitching references from across the art history timeline

Drawing: Contemporary Practices

• the teacher can be quite long winded
• his lack of eye contact with me throws me off a bit
• he shows his biases quite clearly
• haha it sounds like I dislike him but I think I just hate the amount of homework he just gave us
• I think he tends to go rounds the same topic, but I like what he said about the innate sensibility we all have to compose things in an aesthetic manner
• he sugar coats stuff a bit, sometimes I wished maybe, just tell me that I suck and don’t leave room for my mind to wander but at the same time, the hope will keep me working hard to improve
• whenever you make a work, just think about an Instagram picture you are about to post, how you gonna crop it etc.

 

I must say ‘Rate Your Professors’ is pretty accurate,, haha but that’s it for this week!

 

Haptics and Optics Lesson #1

Neil Jones, when I told a Junior Year Student his name, she gave me an, “Oh, shit’s coming for you man!” kinda face. Well, I was kind of expecting that after my first lesson with him. His opening speech about classroom discipline and integrity, indeed, sets a very stern and serious tone for the rest of his upcoming lessons. It didn’t help when he shared with us how he left a former college he was teaching at because it failed to uphold and enforce the value of integrity in its students. He has a strong value and belief system but he is extreme. Nevertheless, I hope despite all of this, lessons can still remain informative, fruitful and fun.

Today’s class was nothing much, just his army styled speech and a photography documentary on Jerry Uelsmann and Maggie Taylor. Each of them representing the analog and the digital respectively. I guess it’s Jones manner of setting a background for the class, Haptics, and Optics.

Jerry and Maggie: This is not Photography

“This is not Photography” connotes subversion and contention. Jerry Uelsmann’s surrealistic photographs did challenge the boundaries of photography and brought about some criticism although they were in every way, captivating.

It may have been accomplished easily on photoshop. But, during his time, the skills involved is not the same without the advent of photoshop.

I was really captivated by his craftsmanship and his technique of merging two films together to create these surrealistic photographs. I was fascinated by the way he ‘shaded’ his photographs in the dark room by ‘interrupting’ and controlling the amount of exposure hitting on to the photograph. His eye for selecting images, manipulating and matching them with each other shows us clearly that he understands how a person views a photograph.

The technique he was using, pushed the technology of his time. He was manipulating the technology to do what it isn’t really meant to do through the use of makeshift methods.

It’s fascinating how his entire body of works is built upon this newfound skill he invented.

Even for Taylor, who followed in his footsteps, had photographs that took on a nature of its own, although in a similarly surrealistic manner. Her works represented the Age of Photoshop, or what the Adobe guy in the documentary said, “the dark side”.

I think it’s nice that the documentary decided to put their works and crafts next to each other, showing us the distinction yet similarities. I understand that they were a couple then. It’s sad they are not anymore.

Anyway, I’m going to end my reflection here on today’s class, with an impactful quote I heard during the documentary.

“He was exploring the inherent nature of the medium that no one has. Controversy is a sign of success, it’s a sign that you have covered some new territory, that you have actually thought about the medium in a new way.”

Homesick!

The spring cohort is really small. Excluding those who transferred and exchange students, those like me, are down to only 7 of us.

Orientation, although short, had the potential to be cozy and opportunities to form more meaningful conversations with those around you.

When I was holding these meaningful conversations, I often could sense a wall they were putting up. A wall that represents their unwillingness to share more or to connect. Maybe its just a mismatch of frequencies.

Initially, I saw it as a display of guardedness from these students but it might have just been a healthy sense of mistrust.

I guess I was eager to forge a close relationship as soon as possible to cure me of my homesickness and to find a physical outlet to the emotions I have now.

I am homesick. It gets real bad when I come back to my empty dorm room. I feel lost. I feel like I have no one to really talk to. I am reserve guy but I crave for the human warmth too.

I am not used to this loneliness. I decided to google homesickness and found out it was not really missing home, but missing the love, warmth and security of a home.

Grandma…

I am currently staying at my grandma’s house. As I spend my time there, I witness the way my grandma spends her day and observed the daily difficulties she has to go through. It gave me a glimpse of what old age could mean and changes the way I see things a little.

My grandma has a maid, who would wake up before the break of dawn to bath her and prepare a simple breakfast for her. It followed a strict routine that is unchanging and repetitive. It was mundane.

After her meal, the maid would feed her medicine, which is actually an amalgamation of vitamins because her body can’t really process a lot of the daily food we have, so she has to obtain them through these pastel coloured pills and capsules.

I only made this observation of her medicine when my uncle entrusted me with the allocation her daily medicinal intake and it made me realised the copious amount of medicine she was taking. I felt sad that she is no longer as healthy. It made me feel helpless.

After her breakfast, she still seems to be in a daze, not fully awake yet. It is no surprise though, grandma has always been sleeping a lot since I was a toddler when she took care of me. Clearly, this sleepiness was an early sign of her unhealthy body.

When my grandma was taking care of the toddler me, she had diabetes. I still remember, as a kid, I would tell her not to eat sugary things. But, my grandma always gave in to her temptations. Her diabetes worsened over the years and so did her body.

It led to a series of degeneration that left her immobile. Things just got worse from there. She had bed rash, rashes, personal hygiene worsens and this gave way to a new set of problems.

It was snowballing. Sometimes I wonder, could we have nipped the problem in the bud? If grandma listened to me and not eat so many sugary things, things would have been better? at least for a little longer.

Due to a recent stroke she had earlier this year, she now faces difficulty swallowing her food and the maid adds thickener to everything she consumes to facilitate her swallowing. This difficulty actually made it very arduous for someone to feed her. It takes great deal of patience as she swallows really slowly. I really dont know how the maid does it. Meanwhile, as her grandson, I don’t think I would have the patience despite the patience she showed me when I was a kid.

For lunch, her meal is just pumpkin mixed with other vegetables blended together with no salt and sugar. It was blend, a lot like baby food. Besides the food, the pampers she wears, its like old age is about coming full cycle to how you were in the beginning as a baby. Do we really end up in the same place?

My grandma, eats her medicine after her meal. The cycle repeats for dinner and for every other day. She spends most of her time dozing off while the television plays before her. It was a bleak image of aging painted before me.

Was this entirely inevitable?

I believe my grandma had a large to play. As grown adults, we should be responsible for our own health. It often takes discipline and determination. It made me realised that I also need to be more conscious of my health and my lifestyle. It’s not about living longer, it’s about aging in a less painful way.

But, it also made me realised, time is relentless. Its a scary demon that waits for no man. I should fully utilise the youth I have now, and pursue the things I like and want to do. To achieve the greatest potential I can be. In all its negative, it gave me a motivation of sort to work hard now and dream big. We are really only young once and when we age, there isn’t much we can do.

 

 

Renovation Woes – A family Crisis

The biggest issue with any renovation is finding a place to stay in the mean time. Our family’s plan was to move into another place we have, but due to the defacts in the house, it is taking more time to move in.

Renovations have already began because of the workers’ tight work schedule as the new year approaches.

Our only other option was to stay at my grandma’s place and we moved in, out of desperation. I, personally, don’t mind that place because part of my childhood was built around this 5-bed room flat. But, for my sis and my mum, it is a place that meant many discomforts.

Despite having a maid, the place is still kinda unsanitary or rather not as clean as the standards back home.

I kinda blame this on my uncle, who isn’t very organised and hordes quite a bit of thrash, also because other uncles and aunties dump their thrash here too sometimes.

My mum and sis can’t take unsanitary places, especially my sis.

Besides that, the only single left in the family, my uncle, still lives with our grandma. It is weird and uncomfortable to be staying with an uncle we are not close to since we can’t really and truly be ourselves. A home is supposed to be relaxing, not awkward.

To make matters worse, my dad’s relationship with his brother isn’t too great either.

At the end of the day, I would say the biggest sufferer in this, is my sister. It’s her holiday and she can’t stay at a place that is comfortable, and she needs to study but grandma’s place proved to be too unconducive with inadequate lighting in the room and tables and chairs that aren’t fitting for her height.

The renovation will most probably take another month to complete from the time of this entry. I hope my family pulls it together. Grandma’s place isn’t the only problem in this renovation. There are still a few decisions to be made on the house’s renovation work. The stress level on our family is put to the max, especially when I am leaving for the states to study in less than a month time.

A crisis like this, someone needs to be pulling force that holds everyone together. I hope I can be that force.

 

 

Job at a University

I have been working at a university for the past 3 weeks. Its quite a relaxing job other than the arduous journey there. (With the frequent malfunctioning of the train, making travelling even difficult.)

The long hours of travelling and working occupied most of my time and I essentially, have no free time. I abide to a strict schedule of sleeping after reaching home and bathing.

It kept my mind off the surge of emotions I am feeling as the day of leaving for the states nears. It distracted me with what is going on at work.

Upon knowing that the hall in which I will be in charge will decide how much I earn, I was worried I wouldnt earn as much as I would have liked. So, plucking some courage, I told my in charge that I wanted a hall that has longer hours so that I could earn that extra dollar.

I mean, travelling so far just to earn a meagre sum would be quite meaningless.

And, fortunately, my supervisor is an understanding lady, and I got the hall that really maximise my time at this inaccessible university.

After that, we tried all ways to add the OT hours to our pay by dragging the time we take to complete our task. We were trying to game the system but clearly this would not work in an organised institution like the university.

As our time pass at the university, we learnt about the various characters in the office. The dynamics of the community we are entrants to. We hear gossips and we observe, understanding what is underneath the calm waters we saw in the first few days of work.

As a temporary staff, we are at the bottom of the hierachy, or the food web. Therefore, we have to be extra courteous, extra humble and extra careful not to get us laid off.

But other than all the mini diplomatic relations we have on a day to day basis, my fellow temporary staff proved to be a rather pleasant bunch to work with. We even played badminton together. I looked forward to seeing them at work. It was in some way, the sustaining fuel to my flame in this job.

My supervisor and a few other superiors were also very enjoyable to work with. Of course, those closer to our level in the hierachy connected better with us some how.

Our main in charge, took on a very motherly role and was constantly on the look out for us. She was a really good supervisor, which made me feel a little guilty for trying to game the system.

I guess, with the fourth week coming to an end as I type this entry, it is back to reality where the copious amount of time to think about the uncertain future will consume me.

(in charge, main in charge and supervisor refer to the same person who never really imposed a particular position she has over us)