I think I am just a really sucky person. I won’t go into explaining why I am one because I am too ashame to say them. And it is probably the reason why I am losing my friends. I have let my emotions and insecurities consume and control me.
I just hope I can change myself and prove to them that I am still a worthy friend before I lose them completely. I am going to fight for all the friendships I have taken for granted. I need to learn to change my perspective on things. Open my heart more to let love and friendship to flourish and thrive in me.
After much reflection, I realised I have been utterly self centred in everything I do especially with friends. It is often an expectation I have for my friends, but never about how I can be a good friend to them.
I hope I have made some correct realizations and change in time, before its too late..
My heart feels extremely heavy and painful. At the same time, frustrated and helpless with the state I have got myself into.