A mix of EDM and latest hits was booming from the speakers. I stare into the ceiling-high mirror, admiring the work of art before me – my body. Realizing how narcissistic I was, I focused my vision on those around me only to see all my friends staring at their bodies too. I wonder what they thought about their bodies.
Were they thinking about the inadequacies of their body? or were they trying to notice if their bodies have grown larger and more muscular after that rep they just did? or maybe they were enjoying the sight of their toned arm or chest?
The observations made, that led to these thoughts reminded me of a conversation I had with my close friend about self-love. This is so as it seems to me that the appreciation for the physical form of our bodies is representative of our love for ourselves. Ourselves meaning who we are as individuals.
Like many of our intimate conversations that dealt with our innermost feelings, we talked about each other’s insecurities which led on to the topic of self love. Speaking of recent events in our lives, we talked about how they threatened or tested our love for ourselves. The truth is our love for ourselves is being tested every day. Every day the things that people say about you or the regretful things you do can make you love yourself lesser.
It is fragile because its an intangible feeling built upon tangible things. Things like our experiences in our lives, our personal achievements, number on the weighing scale, social circle and the body staring back at you in the mirror can change how much we love ourselves.
But, at the end of the conversation, we came to a conclusion that was comforting to both of us. Self love needs to come from within and knowing that you love yourself for who you are as a person. Even for our flaws. Yes we ought to change them but also learn to accept them because sometimes, we are just too harsh on ourselves and not every flaw is inherently a bad one.
Good flaws are those that give you your identity as an individual.
At the same time, it is also about seeing beyond these flaws. So, maybe you have a long neck like mine that makes your shoulder looks a tad bit narrow and maybe you dont have a moleless face but hey, you know you are more than these flaws in many ways. All these work together in dispelling the fragility of self love and instead make it invincible.